My Driving Test

Today I passed my driving test..actually I took the test twice..I failed the second part for the 1st test.. Side parking test.. And i need to pay RM680 for my learning fees..wow!! Plus my test and so on..it cost RM1800+..

Now, I need to find a used car for my grandpa..he will used my license to buy the car..

What I hate the most

One thing that I hate is when people didn't appreciate me in their life. I do everything for them but they just be with me just to make me feel good.What?? I really hate that,..where is your honesty??

Just like the song title Grenade by Bruno Mars but the song was dedicated to girl..but I think that it can dedicated to friends too.. do everything for you? yeah i did..yes! even i risk my life for you.. You may never realize it..cause I'm too hard to be understand..

Like you said yesterday, i did not  have peace in my mind cause i always keep everything myself. Without sharing it with others. How can i share it with you if if the problem is all about you... do you dare to listen to it?

I guess not..

We  are too close until you never realize anything that I want from you..honesty..and understanding

Have you ever try to understand me??

If you do..you will realize what i done is because i need you and i hate to admit it that i still love you..

An unavoidable fact.

Am i too mysterious to you??

Or what you do is really just want me to feel good.

I'm so stupid cause I still in love with you..i should throw you to South China Sea..left you at Damai beach..

Just move on with your life..cause the happiness will not last long..that my prayer..cruel hah??

But it's only a small gift from me..

Confession to a friend

Every moment I think of u

what are you doing right now

Do miss me?

Do you think of me?

Do you care for me?

Like I always do..

My heart beats just for you..

No matter how hard I try to forget you

But you will always be in my mind.

I try to run but once I turned..

You'll be by my side..

Running away with me.

But I never know why you always be

I'm carrying this burden

Burden of loving you..

Do you love me?

I guess not..

For we are one..

I know you knew it

But you will never admit it..

Care for me when i need it..

And i need it always..

Yes! from now till forever..

Just stay here with me

Remain here with me..

Cause I can't losing you.

Yes I do..

Kecewa nak mampus!!!

It's been a long time i didn't open my blog..hehe..no on9 no blog..on9 pn sekejap jk..ne sempat update.. Well a new sad story to be share.. Actually I was disappointed with some people's attitude.. Judge people without thinking..adoi..ku xmok marah but this time it's too much..ku dah diam then org perbesarkan isu tok..well sapa xpuas ati..bestfriend?? pliz la..no honesty will bring you nothing..

Now..who 'rasa best"?? hmm think about it again fellas.. say watever you like coz i'm out of it and I'm sicked with you guys..Imperata cylindrica....yes u are the best?? and we juz org yang gila glamer??? stupid!..xpa! Tuhan tahu pa yang ku polah ba..we'll see it later..

Yes! I'm sinner..we all sinners..i'm done with it..u all can go on with ur life..

Change of group..

Huhu..so sad that I need to leave my current group to join the other group..but I can be with Nani at the other group.. On the first day of class, I was sitting alone and I wish I can change my group..for 3 days I'm still looking for a place that I'm belong in the class..but still hrmm..hampeh..

Then, I met our advisor to ask about my Major Crop production that clashed with ACC310..we look up for solution so we can take those subject this semester..and I need to change my group to ATT1105B..I should be happy but I felt different way cause I'm not alone..Willy need to change his group too..

Actually I want to stay away from him...for some reasons..I'm happy to spend time with him outside specially in YCU but not in class..I know this is not a right place for me to talk bout this...but I hope it will be okay in the new class..sabo je le..

Well, at least i have Nani and others in the other group..

Gawai 2011

Gawai 2011
Wow..this year my Gawai spirit came very late..maybe I was so tired after my Industrial Training last month.. Only during our majlis Makan Malam Sambutan Gawai Kampung Rumih, on 31st May, then I started to feel the Gawai mood.. Although the celebration not so happening as previous Gawai but I can feel the excitement when I saw my friends used our traditional costumes and all of the villagers gathered in this event..here are some pictures that I took from the event

Pix 1: Me & Mary waiting for the Dayung Borih competition..ambik gambar lok..
A lot of activities were arranged such as Pertandingan Dayung Pinginang for Primary School Girl's student, pertandingan Dayung Borih for teenagers, Pertandingan Ratu Kebaya for the adults, Fancy Dress for boys. Petandingan mamak oguong and Pertandingan Minum Beer..

Pix 2: Contestant for Dayung Borih Rumih 2011..from left Mary Collina, Mary Loreta, Nesy, Angela and Gertrude..

Pix 3: Pertandingan Ratu Kebaya Kampung Rumih 2011..Contestant no 3 Pn  Nigop a.k.a Sino Mark..

Pix 4: Contestant no 4.. Sumuk Sino Jemy..

Pix 5: Eh!..macam familiar..contestant no 5..my mummy..Pn Nyolem.

I can't remember the result for each competition but my mun won the 2nd place for the Ratu Kebaya, my friend; Mary Loreta won the 2nd place for Dayung Borih and my cousin; Gertrude 3rd place..

1st June 2011
Too busy with the event I only finished to clean up our house on the 1st June..hehe..right after the Gawai service att St MATHIAS Church, Rumih. Then, my uncle's family fetched my mum to join them to kampung Bowang..wah! Then I left alone..while my bro followed his friend..
I cooked fried mee and waited for guest to come..some of my relatives from Kampung Opar went to my house as they didn't celebrate Gawai on 1st July. 
At 1st I thought i might having a boring gawai as before..but my friend/uncle Calvin asked me to join him to Vyner and Danny's house.. wow!..and at the same time I received a message from my friend Willy, that he want to come to my house with Danny..wow..everything happened at the same time.. Danny already at Willy's grandma house at Kampung Raso 1. I told him our plan and he asked me to come to his house. But, Calvin's car was blocked by his relatives' car that came to his house.. so we can't went to Raso..huhu.. so I just asked them to come over.. While waiting for them I cooked Seafood soup..hihihi..pergh! lama giler nunggu sidaknya..cair make up..haha.. then my Gawai started as we gathered at my house and then to Calvin house..there, we watched Cinta Melody together..haha.. by 7.30 we start our journey to kampung Padang Pan to VYNER's house..yeye!! At there, we met Mell and Jeff..and we were almost drunk as Jeff gave us 3 types of drinks excluding soft drinks..hehe..we only went back by 12pm and our plan to Danny's house were cancelled..hehe

Pix 6: Guess What??? Gambar bukti came to Vyner's grandpa house at Kampun Padang Pan..from left 1st row.. Mell, Calvin, Willy, Vyner and me 2nd row..Danny and Jeff

Pix 7: At Calvin house..the 1st proof picture we took to show to our friend that we celebrated gawai together..haha!!! Special pose from us..hehe..

2nd June.
I just stayed at home alone..again..nothing much happen...hehe..But on 3rd June.. Calvin once again us me to join Him to Fragner' house.. there are some funny story..Calvin thought that Fragner House was at Matang. Then he gave me the address.. Taman Stakan Jaya..I've never heard any Taman called Stakan Jaya at Matang.. So i asked Willy to join us as he was familiar with Matang area.. But the truth is, Stakan Jaya is not at Matang but at Samarahan road..hahaha!!..Punya la jauh..dah janji xkan mok mungkir janji..so we went to Matang to fetch Willy. Wah..stress ku cari rumah Willy cause he didn't answer my call..mengamuk ku dalam kereta..then I asked Calvin to pray that Willy will pick up the phone..at right after that..we succeed..yeye!!.. Ngabang lok kat rumah Willy and then we went to Fragner's house..pergh..rupa-rupanya Fragner's mummy was my parents friend..hmm..Jejak Kasih sudah..cerita punya cerita..dah! Fragner and Willy cousin duhal!! as their mother came from same Kampung and related..keciknya dunia..alahai.. panjang cerita Gawai ku..

Pix 8: 2nd trip of YCU Gawai Outing at Fragner's house.. From left, Willy, Fragner, Calvin , me and Mary

Pix 9:"jamming" at fragner house..hehe

 Pix 10: Calvin?? Can u play?? 1st trial..

So my 1st week of Gawai was meaningful as this the 1st time I spent my Gawai with YCU family..haha!! and went to their house..but my Gawai  belum habis as I still have 1 more Gawai to go..which is Gawai Opar (9 to 12 June 2011)..and now more YCU will join me back to my kampung.. I really can't wait it..so far only Nani and Willy have confirmed..I need to asked Vyner again and so for the others..wah!!..My Gawai mood has spoiled my Study mood..hmm...wah panjang na post ku kali tok..hope u enjoyed it..bye2 for now..

Far Away

1 semester passed..and once again I didn't do well in my study..through the whole semester I quite far from God...Yes! I've served..but only through action not inside of me..I'm empty...

As compare to my 3rd semester I always spare my time to be with God alone by reading Bible, rosary but last semester I didn't even opened my Bible when someone sent me verses..and i didn't remember when the last time I've done rosary alone..

Well, I've try my best in my final exam last semester..all that I can gain is 2.05..but it's ok..at least I can stay and will continue to serve for 3 semester ahead.. I hope I will come closer to God and can study well..with God will.. amen..

So tired..

Oh No!..I'm really tired.. I need my rest..practical training is so tiring...Walked for 20 mins to ladang, roll call, work for less than 1 hours and then sat down, talked, loiter, gossiping..past 10.30 went back to hostel..then by 2pm went to ladang again but doing nothing..such a waste..

I wish I can relax and enjoy my 1 month holiday, but I can't..hrmmm...sakit ati..one more week to go..I hope that I can stand it..huh.. tomorrow i go back home..I'm totally tired to be here..I need my rest at home..I miss mum, home, room, food, fresh air, cousins, bicycle and friends..

...Secret Admirer...

For the first time I want to use Malay in my blog..can I?? But i didn't use to it..hehe..So i will only mix it..well just simple. I actually don't know what I want to write..haha : D ..

Seriously I didn't expect i will have a lot of secret admirer..haha..lol..I never realize it till my roomates told me about it..at first I thought that they lied..but it's the truth...and a brutal SujaNe will become shy sujaNe..haha..

Untung orang nangga ku malu,..haha..it's hard for people to see my shy face..bluekk!! And when I thought bout it i will get goosebumps..haha..eww..

Want to know who are my secret admirers???...No..i will just keep it myself.. Because I can't be with them..biarlah terus jadi secret admirer..hehe..kejam2..

It's hard for me to accept someone new in my heart..my heart was locked..can someone who hold the right key opened it?? But who hold the right ke??..jeng..jeng..jeng..ne boleh padah..sebab ku sendiri x tau.. owh please la..jangan nak seksa jiwa dan raga ku gk..I'm begging you..mun suka padah suka..haha! Wah mok tmbh gk SC baru..haha..

Apa-apa pun..I just pray for the best..coz only God that know who's the right one for me..

I didn't think it was love, I told myself it wasn’t love
I deceived myself, but my heart kept calling your name

I take one step towards you, push you one step away

Each time, you grow in my heart

I must be loving you this much, must be waiting for you this much

Even though it hurts so much, my heart can’t seem to let you go

I think there must be just one love, I don’t think my heart will change

The love that I’ve kept only for you, I can now finally tell you

Your warm eyes, Your warm love

Flying away farther, but you are still growing up in my heart.

I must be loving you this much, must be waiting for you this much

Even though it hurts so much, my heart can’t seem to let you go

I think there must be just one love, I don’t think my heart will change

The love that I’ve kept only for you, I can now finally tell you

I love you

Sometimes love, at times tears

Even though it’s hard, I love you, I love you

I only need you by my side

I must still be loving you, I must still be waiting for you

My brain might be fooled, but my heart can’t be fooled

I think there must be just one love, I don’t think my heart will change

The love that I’ve kept only for you, I can now finally tell you

I love you

Easter Again

Lent is coming to end..It's easter..the day of Victory..I want my easter again this year..

This is my easter egg laz year..

Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired

It's been a long time i didn't update my post..well there are so much to tell.. My life become happier but deep in my heart I felt that I'm missing something.. The final exam is coming and I didn't have guts to study..It's like I'm losing my spirit..left in home I think..

Want to share my problem with friends, but I felt they all avoiding me.. Or it was me who avoid them..that why most of my time I spent it with my lappy..watching movie, listen to my fav music, online, facebooking,and downloading..that's the way I spending my time..

Try to maintain my 3-pointer GPA although I failed several test. And with God will I can do it..Everybody are too busy studying..maybe certain are free but there not the right one to share..
Here in my blog..the only place i can say it out loud..

what da??

I'm begging u please don't misinterpret me.. I don't have feeling toward any guy right now.. Don't misunderstood that my relationship with someone looked like I in love with him..No! For this time I only accept him as my friend and so for the others. Though I said I'm ready physically and mentally ready for a relationship but I'm not desperate. I'm still waiting for the right one.. One day he will come..I believe in that.. I do..

I'm A Player??

What??? I really didn't realize bout this..I'm a Playgirl?? Emm.. let me think.. Setahu aku, aku memang macam ni dari dulu g.. I'm not a player, coz I'm still single for years.. :) 

If I'm a player i won't have enough time to spend with my girl's friends. Maybe because I always be with different guys. But please don't misunderstood me, they are just my friends that I treat like my own brothers.

To my 2ndary school friend, I know that u are surprise with that but I'm prefer to be friend with them because they understand me more. Maybe u didn't remember my life before, my friendship full with insincerity, doubt, hatred, misjudgement, betrayal and gossip. I learnt from mistake so I prefer befriend with guy cause they are honest. If any mistake or anything they dislikes bout me they will directly complain.

To my sisters, that why i called u sis coz I don't want u as my friend but as my family members. It's not that I didn't rust u all but my faith more to them. But i do tell my story to sis Nani. Cause she understand me better.

Well, i've explained it so please don't misunderstand me again.. I'm not a player..they all are my bro..

Not on Track

This few weeks I felt that I'm not on my track..I'm stray away from it.. I suppose to focus on my study but I most likely to have fun rather than open my book and study. 

My sis Nani said that my pointer may drop this semester because I have my laptop with me now. That her assumption, but I'm not like before. Last semester, even before my laptop damaged I've change where I start to make my own note which I never done since I was in Pt 1.

I didn't blame my serving in YCU but I spend most of my time with my fellow bro n sis in YCU. I having so much fun with them, but I get back to my room I notice that I've delayed a lot of my work. Starting from next week I think that I stay in my room and study.

That's about my time management, next my financial management. This semester I didn't get my loan from PTPTN. So I depends on my mum and my sis Tracy, still I didn't know how my money can't finished faster tahn my planned. I admit that the price of food is rising and that is one of the factor. I try to follow my budget but my money still flow like water.hehe..

I don't know how i can handle this..But I try to be strict with myself..

It's My L.O.V.E..

 This is my LOVE..to JESUS..

And I serve Him here..

Because of HIS cross..